Weekend Silliness: Caecilius Promethium Vult!

Previously in my ridiculous attempt at a crossover fanfiction...
Caecilius inquisitor est. Caecilius hereticum videt. Caecilius est iratus. Caecilius hereticum incenderet. Caecilius est laetissimus. postquam hereticum incenderit, Caecilius erat laetus, sed nunc promethium non habet. "eheu!" inquit, "volo promethium!" subito astartes apparet. "astartes promethium habet...." Caecilius inquit....
And now, the thrilling continuation.
ad astartem Caecilius ambulat. "o astartes, quis es tu?" rogat. "ego sum Vulkan." astartes respondet. "ego sum Caecilius inquisitor," Caecilus inquit, "et tuus promethium volo." "minime!" clamat Vulkan. sed Caecilius jokaeronem habet. jokaero armas digitos habet. astartes instantum mortuum acciperet. Caecilius promethium rapet. iterum Caecilius est laetissimus.
Word and phrase list (remember, I had to make some of them up):
"armas digitos"- digital weapons
astartes- Space Marine (like miles)
Caecilius- Caecilius
hereticus- heretic
inquisitor- Inquisitor
"instantum mortuum"- instant death
jokaero- Jokaero
promethium- prometheum
Vulkan- Vulkan
The rest you should get with a Latin dictionary. Oh, and for the sake of hilarity (and because I know some of you might try this), this is the Google Translate version:

The merchant was investigated. The merchant sees a heretic. The merchant was angry. Examples of a heretic burned. The merchant is happy. After he had burned a heretic, Caecilius was happy, but now does not have a Prometheus. "Oh no!" he says, "I want to Prometheus'!" Astarte appears suddenly. "Astarte Prometheus had ...." The merchant said ....

Examples of ways to Astarte. "Oh, Astarte, who are you are you?" she asks. "I am Vulkan." Astarte answers. "I am the investigator of Caecilius," he said Caecilius, "and I want your Prometheus." "No!" Vulkan claims. But has served jokaeronem. jokaero arms have fingers. Astarte was pressing him to accept his death. Draw examples of Prometheus. The merchant is happy again.

Well, at least it got the last sentence. I love "Jokaero arms have fingers." What, human arms don't? I may do this again.