Monday, 27 February 2012

200th Post Celebration Battle Report!

Err...well, sort of. Those of you with brains bigger than peas will realise that there's no way I could have reached such a number in less than a year at my pace of blogging. And you'd be right! This is in fact the 200th post of RulesMan-Bryssling (which I need to make less of an artefact title) when counting everything I absorbed. And it's a battle report of my sort of numbers (1250 points) with a classic opponent ('Scape's Necrons) and an army you haven't seen me play yet...Orks!

It's beside the point that my Ork army still needs work. Scenario was Implacable Advance from Battle Missions, meaning we were playing lengthways across the board rather than the classic setup, and both sides gained Stubborn for all units (a sure boon for the Necrons). The objectives (two penguins and Mega-Emperor, Bryssling's unofficial mascot) were placed at the centre of each table third. Objectives are secured by having a scoring unit within 3" at the end of the turn without having to stay on it all game. Armies were:

Master Bryss' Orks: 1250

Big Mek with Shokk Attack Gun
5 Lootas and 3 Meks with Big Shootas
5 Burnas and 3 Meks with Rokkit Launchas
20 Slugga Boyz with 2 Rokkit Launchas and a Klaw Nob
10 Shoota Boyz with Klaw Nob and Trukk with Red Paint Job
20 Grotz and 2 Runtherds
2 Deffkoptas with two twin Rokkit Launchas and one Buzzsaw
5 Flash Gitz and Kaptin Badrukk

Cyberscape7's Necrons

Overlord-Warscythe, Sempiternal Weave, Resurrection Orb, Mindshackle Scarabs, Phaeron
Royal Court- 2 Harbingers of Transmogrification, 1 Harbinger of Destruction with Gaze of Flame, 1 Harbinger of the Storm with Lightning Field
15 Warriors
14 Warriors
14 Warriors
5 Immortals- Gauss Blasters
3 Tomb Blades- Gauss Blasters, Shadowlooms

The Harbinger of Destruction joined the Immortals, the Harbinger of the Storm joined the 15 Warriors with the Overlord and the identical Harbingers went with the identically numbered squads.


The Orks deployed their entire force, with the SAG joining the Gretchin and the Shoota Boyz starting in their Wartrukk.

The Necrons left the Monolith in reserve, with the Overlord joining the front-and-centre unit with the Harbinger of the Storm as I said earlier.

We rolled a 1 for first turn, meaning the Orks would take it. The Deffkoptas scouted towards the Tomb Blades.

Turn 1.0

The footslogging Boyz and Burnas make a general advance, while the Gitz roll 6" in their Difficult Terrain test. The same pattern repeats with my faster units, with the exception of the Deffkoptas who continue to make a beeline for the Immortals and Tomb Blades.

In the Missing and Inaccuracy Phase, my Bikes and Wartrukk fail to do anything to the rightmost Warrior unit. The SAG does better, rolling up a Strength of 6 and a bang-on pie plate on the centre Warrior unit, scoring 6 kills. Buoyed by an actual success, my Lootas shoot the same unit and score a mighty hit. Shame it's the only one, and 'Scape loses only one more Warrior. One Git and the good Kaptin find themselves in range of the Tomb Blades, and manage to down 2 (never underestimate Da Rippa). In recovery, the Necron side salvages 3 Warriors and 1 Tomb Blade.

The Deffkoptas manage to charge the Immortals... and that's about it. Combat's a draw.

Turn 1.5

The Necrons advance implacably. Wonder where that idea came from?

The Tomb Blades target the Flash Gitz and score 2 Wounds. The Phaeron and his Relentless Brigade target my Warbikers, and leave only the Nob standing with one Wound left. One Tremorstave fails to affect the Biker Nob, the other kills a Grot who wasn't the intended target.

My Koptas win combat 1-nil, but this does no good as the Immortals just gets up again.

Turn 2.0

The Gitz advance 3" through cover, while the Burnas go 5" into it. Even though the Tremorstave aimed at them only killed a nearby Grot, it still hit the Slugga Ladz so they only got to 4ipt (inches per turn). I retreat my injured Biker and move the Wartrukk forward.

In the Miserable Gunmanship Phase, the SAG misses its intended target while the Lootas down 3 Warriors from the Phaeron's unit. The Burna Meks aim for the Tomb Blades and score a hit (woohoo!) but no wounds with their rokkit-on-a-stick-thingies. Badrukk's Murderers do better, killing the unit in a points-inefficient blaze of dakka glory. The other rokkit stikks, the ones in the Boyz mob, fail to affect the Phaeron's unit. The Shoota Boyz, seeing as I only went combat speed this turn, shoot the nearby Greenheads (as I affectionately call 'Scape's green-headed Warrior unit) and down 1, a number matched by their Trukk's usually useless big shoota. Shame that all the Warriors downed this phase got back up.

One of my Koptas takes a wound for the team this round, but I remain in combat, still having scored no wounds.

Turn 2.5

The Monolith is ready to come in, but in a stroke of Orky luck it ends up Misplaced as far from the action as possible. The Greenheads try to jump over a blockade, but roll a top speed of 2ipt and give up. The Warriors guarding the penguin do better, and move at 4ipt towards the conflict.

Despite their earlier failure, some of the Greenheads are in range to attack the Trukk, and shake it. I lose 5 Slugga Boyz to the shooting from the Overlord's unit and a Tremorstave.

The combat is a repeat run of Turn 1.5. One Immortal down for about ten seconds before it gets up.

Ah, it WAS the fat penguin the Necrons were guarding. Gotta love Happy Feet themed objectives.
Turn 3.0

The Gitz move towards table centre, while the Burnas roll the full 6" move in their cover. My Tremorstaved Boyz mob only get 3" of move, while the Shoota Boyz get out their Trukk and move towards the Greenheads. I move the Trukk flat-out to board centre while the Nob gets his mojo back and decides to embark on a suicide mission to the Monolith.
Bother. This is the start of 3, not the end.

In the Why Do I Even Bother Phase, I declare the Waaagh!, which I have next to no use for. The Shoota Boyz down 1 Greenhead, while the Sluggas fleet forward 4" to make up for time lost to tremors. The Flash Gitz target the Phaeron's unit, and down 3 Warriors having rolled a good AP. The rokkits in the Burna unit target the same squad, but miss. Finally, the low-rolling Loota skwad down I Greenhead.

Combat is more substantial this round as I declare two charges; the Sluggas against the Phaeron's unit, and the Shootas against the Greenheads. The existing combat between the Koptas and Immortals doesn't go so well as neither side scores any points.

The Lightning Field rolls up 1 hit that fails to do anything, and I lose 3 Slugga Boyz to the Overlord and Warriors, plus one more by a Boy who fell prey to the Mindshackle Scarabs. I down 7 Warriors with my unit even without the all-misses Power Klaw, but thanks to Stubborn being in play we remain locked. 2 Warriors get up again and rejoin the fray.

The Shoota Boyz win their combat 5-3, thanks to the Power Klaw, but the sides remain locked  and one Warrior rises again.

Turn 3.5

The one unit that can advance does so.

In shooting, I lose the two weakened Flash Gitz to the tremorstave of aforementioned unit.

In combat, it's still nil-nil in the Kopta-Immortal war, 2-1 to me in the Slugga/Warrior combat, with my Nob being mindshackled but missing, and also 2-1 to me in the Shoota/Warrior combat, but both of them get up, unlike the other two I killed.

Turn 4.0

I turbo-boost the Biker to the Monolith and cruise the Trukk closer to the central combat. The Tremored Gitz and Burnas both get a top speed of 2ipt.

My shooting isn't great, with the Gitz not doing anything to the unengaged Warriors, and the Lootas downing 6 but only actually killing 2. The Trukk misses with the big shoota, and the Burnas finally get out of cover.

In combat, I lose a Slugga but wipe out all the Warriors and the Cryptek, leaving the Overlord alone. The Shootas lose 2 and kill 1, stay in combat, and watch as the one Warrior they killed fails his RP. The Immortals lose one of their number (for good this time) and somehow fail their Leadership check, falling back from the finally victorious Koptas.

Turn 4.5

The Immortals rally, and the Monolith, which has been steadily moving towards me all game, pulls them to it with the Dimensional Corridor. The unengaged Warrior unit moves towards my Deffkoptas...

...and shoot them, killing 1 and forcing the other to fall back. The free Immortals kill my Biker Nob.

The Overlord suffers 1 Wound and kills 2 Boyz back. Combat continues. My Shoota Boyz are swept away by Warriors (the shame!).

Turn 5.0

The Kopta falls back some more, while the Gitz and Burnas advance.

The SAG gets fired up again after a few turns of not wanting to risk it, and downs 3 Greenhead Warriors at a steady S6. The Wartrukk even manages to down the squad Cryptek. Finally, the few remaining Warriors in that squad are gunned down by Lootas.

In combat, I charge the Burnas into the Overlord, which proves to be the last straw for the metal man, who loses one wound, kills 2 Boyz and is then killed by Boyz.

Turn 5.5

The Overlord failed his Ever-Living check, but the Cryptek from the Greenhead unit is up and at it again, as all remaining Necron units move to secure Mega-Emperor.

The Monolith finally gets some Gauss Flux Arcs in range, which leaves my Boyz mob with only the Nob surviving with one wound. The rest of the Necron shooting goes at the Burnas, and thanks to a fair few Warriors being in rapid-fire range, they are wiped.

Turn 6.0

The game continues, and the Kopta rallies and turbo-boosts towards the centre. The Flash Gitz also move towards there.

The SAG rolls up S5 and downs 3 Warriors. 3 more are downed by Lootas. 1 more is downed by Gitz, with Badrukk on his down downing 2 more. Incidentally, I rolled two hits and a miss, and decided to expend one of his three Ammo Runts before game end. I re-rolled the miss and got a 1, a worse result than before but at least I was saved by Goldtoof Armour. The Trukk tries downing the solo Cryptek, but fails. 1 Warrior passed the Herbert West test (because it re-animates. Obviously.).

Turn 6.5

The remaining Warriors secure the central objective. Some shooting happens, and I lose my Nob to Flux Arcs and a wound off of one Git. There is a Turn 7.

Turn 7

Right. If I'm to have any hope of winning, I need to secure the centre with the Grot mob. I move them, then roll a full 6" for my Run. Even this fails to get me to centre, and as the game lasted so long we decide to end it there.

Final Score:
Necrons: 2
Orks: 1
Winner: Necrons

That...went better than I thought it would. The Monolith mishap helped an awful lot with that.

Sunday, 26 February 2012

Weekend Silliness: Dark Eldar Car Dangler

Some people have overly large fuzzy dice. Others have that small fairy they bought at Disneyland. Some people have nothing, claiming that these ornaments are silly and distracting. The fools. Everyone knows that small car decorations are a way of setting yourself apart from the mass-produced crowds.

I've been disappointed at the recent lack of hobby posts on RulesMan-Bryssling, so I decided to get back to this. You see, I saw the Raider crew that you're supposed to hang off the edges as pointless and fragile, and decided to find a better purpose for them.

And so, the Dark Eldar Car Dangler. It's really not hard to do. I just built a crewwoman as standard and drilled a small hole through her hairdo roundabout where the hairpin is. I then threaded some thin, err, thread through the hole and wrapped it round one of those sucker things you get with those baskets for hanging up in the shower. A small one, obviously. And then, even more obviously, you put it in your car, like so.

So not only can I tear up the roads of Scotland, I can profess my love of 40k at the same time! Win-win, really.

Thursday, 23 February 2012

High Gothic For Dummies #6

Previously on High Gothic For Dummies: Tyranids...

Stop looking at me like that, it makes sense in context. Anyway, on with explaining the High Gothic names of Tyranids in...

Hormagaunt: gauntii gladius. This utterly originally means 'sword Gaunt.'

Genestealer: corporaptor hominis. 'Body-Robber of Man,' I guess. Makes sense considering the cults and how they operate. Ymgarl Stealers are just corporaptor ymgarli, 'Body-Robber of Ymgarl.'

Broodlord: Unsuprisingly corporaptor primus, which I surely don't need to spell out.

Lictor: tyranicus chameleo. Since the last word is the genus of chameleons, this means... again, I won't spell it out.

Ripper: minoris omniphagea. Ah, looks like our old mate Classical Greek is interfering. phageo is to devour, so this is essentially a 'Small All-Devourer'. That Greek word got borrowed for the word phage, i.e. bacteria. Which is again incredibly appropriate to Rippers.

Ravener: tyranicus ophidius subterra. Well, the only hard word is ophidius, which I'm sure has been Canis Latinicised from ophidia, the sub-order of snakes. So 'Underground Snake Tyranid'. Wow, these are appropriate.

Well, that's your lot for today. When we next return to Tyranids, we'll cover Gargoyles, Biovores, Zoanthropes and Carnifexes.

Saturday, 18 February 2012

Weekend Silliness: Caecilius Promethium Vult!

Previously in my ridiculous attempt at a crossover fanfiction...
Caecilius inquisitor est. Caecilius hereticum videt. Caecilius est iratus. Caecilius hereticum incenderet. Caecilius est laetissimus. postquam hereticum incenderit, Caecilius erat laetus, sed nunc promethium non habet. "eheu!" inquit, "volo promethium!" subito astartes apparet. "astartes promethium habet...." Caecilius inquit....
And now, the thrilling continuation.
ad astartem Caecilius ambulat. "o astartes, quis es tu?" rogat. "ego sum Vulkan." astartes respondet. "ego sum Caecilius inquisitor," Caecilus inquit, "et tuus promethium volo." "minime!" clamat Vulkan. sed Caecilius jokaeronem habet. jokaero armas digitos habet. astartes instantum mortuum acciperet. Caecilius promethium rapet. iterum Caecilius est laetissimus.
Word and phrase list (remember, I had to make some of them up):
"armas digitos"- digital weapons
astartes- Space Marine (like miles)
Caecilius- Caecilius
hereticus- heretic
inquisitor- Inquisitor
"instantum mortuum"- instant death
jokaero- Jokaero
promethium- prometheum
Vulkan- Vulkan
The rest you should get with a Latin dictionary. Oh, and for the sake of hilarity (and because I know some of you might try this), this is the Google Translate version:

The merchant was investigated. The merchant sees a heretic. The merchant was angry. Examples of a heretic burned. The merchant is happy. After he had burned a heretic, Caecilius was happy, but now does not have a Prometheus. "Oh no!" he says, "I want to Prometheus'!" Astarte appears suddenly. "Astarte Prometheus had ...." The merchant said ....

Examples of ways to Astarte. "Oh, Astarte, who are you are you?" she asks. "I am Vulkan." Astarte answers. "I am the investigator of Caecilius," he said Caecilius, "and I want your Prometheus." "No!" Vulkan claims. But has served jokaeronem. jokaero arms have fingers. Astarte was pressing him to accept his death. Draw examples of Prometheus. The merchant is happy again.

Well, at least it got the last sentence. I love "Jokaero arms have fingers." What, human arms don't? I may do this again.

Thursday, 16 February 2012

The Lost RulesMan Articles: The Problem with Warhammer Fantasy Battles

Here I go, dredging my archives again. I need to get back to regularity, had Advanced Higher Spanish today and I think it went OK. I know the final speaking is March 20th though... anyway, here's Past Atrotos.

I'm a die-hard 40k player. I love the fluff, the game, the models and all the peripherals (video games, novels etc.). For the most part this attraction and enthusiasm extends to Warhammer Fantasy as well. The lore and background is captivating; fantastic yet dark enough to feel serious. Most of the models are decent with a few units (Dark Eldar Corsairs) really sticking out as exceptional sculpts.

Fantasy even offers quite a few things that 40k does not. Magic is a force to be reckoned with whereas its psychic counterpart is often lackluster. Monsters make great tabletop pieces and there's a mythological/historical quality to the game that's great fodder for escaping "real life" for a few hours.

What follows constitutes the opinion of a single gamer but I feel it also reports quite well on the true shortcomings of an otherwise great franchise.

I've always had a basic knowledge of the Fantasy ruleset but the latest Storm of Magic release (yes, there was a whole expansion released this summer, though somewhat discreetly) encouraged me to brush up on the system once again and get no less than 10 games in less than 5 days, one of which was well over 10,000 points per side. Here's some things that had me bored out of my mind and frustrated to insanity by turns.

1. It's true line of sight. Only it's not.

Someone explain to me why two units parked next to one another will fervently ignore each other? "Oh well you see that arbitrary square piece of empty space means you can't see those guys." "You can't wheel there, it would take you to within one inch of a friendly unit. No charge for you." "Those gnoblars are in the way - your 12 foot ogre can't shoot over them."

There's no fluidity to simple things like movement and just where things might have been resolved simply with true line of sight the plethora of queer limitations and oddball rules throws a monkey wrench at everything.

2. Is the game too random? Roll a die and find out!

Your 'M' is 4 so you can charge anywhere between 6' and 16'. Hmmm. It's not random though because you can pre-measure everything!

You built your army around an incredible strategy - roll a die and see if it's time to pack up all your models in shame! Cannons have a 1 in 3 chance of misfiring, even the fastest units can fail charge you were counting on and if you like magic make sure you're good at rolling doubles or else expect your main phase to be lackluster (rolled under 4 for power dice 5 turns in a row).

Hey, at least he was consistent in finishing bullets. I'm not as Fantasy literate, but here are my extra little tidbits.

3. The Square Base Modelling Dilemna...

There's a reason why Fantasy loves a setpiece monster. You have room to play around. 40k gives you the freedom to have truly individual squads if you do so wish. however the rules concerning Fantasy regiment modelling are more strict than a Victorian evangelist headmaster. When I made Crusaders from Brettonnian Men-At-Arms, I hated having to work with the models, as they wanted to stand up tall and had no flex in them at all.

4. How Many Points?

Your typical Fantasy list is about what? 3000? Yes, I know a lot of that can come from the ridiculous numbers that tooled-up lords and heroes give you, but I just lack the patience to go through with that. Sorry,

5. The Races

Again, a personal thing, but I just don't like all the Fantasy races in the same way I do the 40k ones. Brettonians as a whole annoy me, especially compared to the slightly more gun-savvy Empire. Dwarfs are tiny and weird. Is it really necessary to have Wood Elves? Add to that my natural aversion to anything Nurgle. That said, I really like Lizardmen.

Anyway, that's the last of these articles I can really add to. I'm prepping a new Inquisitor Caecilius story for next time. It's really tricky to write it so that someone with no knowledge of High Gothic can understand what's going on.

Tuesday, 7 February 2012

High Gothic For Dummies #5:

I'd love to update more, but... Final Fantasy XIII-2 says otherwise. Yes, I know it's a divisive entry, but my mindset concerning auto-battle and love of pretty things counters you. Now go back to FiSH or whatever. Today it's Dark Eldar... wait, what? Surely not?

Well, yep. You'd be surprised. There's a small bit in there. I suspect this is because the Dark Eldar are the real Romans of 40k, due to their hierarchies, love of gladiator games and importing exotic wildlife, and beautiful, hilarious love poetry. OK, maybe not the last one.

Asdrubael Vect: Comes from Hasdrubal, the name of two generals in the Second Punic War (Rome versus Hannibal of Carthage). Funnily enough, one of them fled to a city at one point.

Archon: Whoops, not Latin. It is in fact Greek. They were nine elected rulery types in Athens.

Wyches: The new Codex is kind enough to give each class of Wych a name. They are the Yraqnae, Lacerai and Hydrae. The first and third have the correct 1st declension (often feminine) ending -ae, and the Yraqnae even roughly parallel the retiarii gladiators, who also fought with tridents and nets.
The second has a wrong ending, but by extension of the word 'lacerate' comes from the verb lacero, to tear.

Hekatrix: A stab in the dark says that either the goddess Hecate or Hecuba, wife of Priam king of Troy, had a hand in this one. And the -trix ending is also a Latiny thing.

So, that's really it for Dark Eldar, unless I find something else. Something else will happen later. Probably. It's really close to my prelims, so no doubt that'll hurt my schedule.

Wednesday, 1 February 2012

'Scape Has A Blog Now!

In some news, my long-term gaming buddy (and practically the only person I ever bat-rep with) Cyberscape7 has obtained himself a blog. And since we had a small game to celebrate me being allowed to terrorise the roads of Britain on my lonesome, I let him bat-rep it.

Here it is.

Yes, I told him to proof-read, but he's new to this, let him settle in. It also marks the official debut of the still-grey Razorwing. It...could have gone better.