Top Bryss Reviews the Necron Barge Kit

Tonight, Felix survives a week with no tea, 'Scape does a job, and I finally remove the last of the tinsel from my face...

I think you know the formula by now. Hello, and Top Bryss! Tonight, we're reviewing our second Necron kit, the Barge, a sort of sports version of the Ark people carrier. Let's see how I got on.

First impressions are good. The kit uses the new-ish GW gimmick of giving you a plastic HQ, which means that technically, using standard plastic blister price, you pay £8 for the Lord and £12.50 for his Barge. By normal GW standards, this is literally winning the lottery. In even better news, the kit can swap between configurations with no need to fiddle around with magnets, giving you two good units in one. That's like having a threesome with Keira Knightley and, err (searches the Clarkson archives), Cameron Diaz.

Unfortunately, unlike with threesomes, you first have to go through the laborious process of building the things. Now, by normal standards I despise building vehicles. Show me someone who plays an all-mech Imperial Guard army and I'll show you someone sick to the bone of tank tracks. All vehicle kits contain some annoying features, and this one is no exception. It took me literally hundreds of years to figure out how the weird bridgey thingies go on to both the crescent body and the 'shoulder pads.' And once again, like with the Ark, the Overlord's neck is a seperate component. Why? It wasn't hard to put the neck on the crew bodies, why is the leader so different?

Oh, and while we're on the subject of the crew, I found it awkward to insert them into where they go whilst simultaneously assembling the 500 layers that make up the platform. What was wrong with a simple socket approach? If I want to be frustrated whilst fitting odd shapes together, I'll play Tetris. The whole system feels like someone's Advanced Higher CAD project designed to be complicated just for more marks.

Anyway, with all that out the way all that was left was the weaponry, easy, the Lord, easy, and the flying stem, which isn't the excellent Dark Eldar design again. Damn. Was that ball and socket system just a one-night stand by GW? Please bring it back. I don't care if you found out it was actually a man, or already married, just get it back. Now. This basically means that I spend 80% of the time with this kit being annoyed. This isn't good.

But despite all this, I really like the look of the finished product. It's not a classic, but despite not taking a normal approach to beauty, it creates exactly the right impression, rather like America Ferrera. The twin crescent design makes it at its core Pac-Man, but flipped sideways, with guns. It hints at the design of the Scythes too, and makes me optimistic.

Essentially, what we have here is a fantastic exercise in tabletop practicality. But if you're competitive and therefore need three, I'd get someone else to build it for you.